To be or to seem

If in childhood a person is often told: "Do not make noise, what will the neighbors say?", "Do not skip what they will say at school", "do not swear what they think of you", then parents create the prerequisites for the development of a person focused primarily not on their own ideas about life, desires and needs, but on the opinions of others.

In adolescence, almost everyone experiences a crush that dissolves into thin air due to the discrepancy between the two young creatures. In the relationship of "broken hearts" prevails the fear of rejection, this fear gives rise to tactlessness, and sometimes even cruelty. As a result, a new broken heart, like Shakespeare's, seeks illusion, peace, or retribution, directing it to the next sacrifice.

It is during this period that the person passes a kind of exam "to be himself" or to strive to meet some, often fictitious expectations of the opposite sex. The stronger and more sincere the feeling that gave life to the "broken heart", the stronger the fear of experiencing the pain of disappointment.

It is easier to try on masks, even if the mask is rejected, the person hiding under it does not even concern. You can choose a better mask. The masquerade ball of life has its own light airy appeal of the holiday, allows you to slide on a tangent in the whirlpool of any events. Life is easy, serene… however, it passes by. No wonder, because this is someone else's life – the life of a mask. Your own life remains behind the scenes of rapidly changing plots, other people's passions, aspirations and opinions.

Social networks with their "likes" also contribute to adapting to the opinions of others. Ratings, employers, all those who can increase salary, status, self-confidence …

A person finds a mask, "everything is OK" – the most popular mask of a businessman, an American, a careerist, a macho man and many other people.

Unfortunately, the "all OK" mask grows to the skin until the first more or less major failure. At this point, the mask flies off. This moment is a great gift of fate, because it is the most suitable for throwing off all the masks, looking at the real self in the mirror. To find that in the present I am more valuable than in the entire collection of masks together. Losing, a person is faced with a dilemma: to be afraid of losing further or to throw away fear. Having found this self of your own, you can go further. There will still be failures in life, the pain of rejected feelings, your own mistakes, but there will be less fear, more meaning, and, most importantly, every failure will serve as a reason for further development. A person has the opportunity to recognize his imperfection, inconsistency with someone's requirements, receiving in return his own holistic destiny and life. In this life, there can be one's own destiny, love, friendship, joy without regard to others, benefit and other supporting phenomena. For masks, even the most beautiful, sought-after and successful – life does not offer such a luxury. A mask may protect against mistakes, stupidity, funny or disapproved behavior. But slipping into the wardrobe to give place to the new, the mask eliminates the possibility of overcoming difficulties, correcting mistakes, therefore, being proud of your deeds, respecting people or enjoying the true feelings of the people around you.

The life of a person who has chosen to "be" acquires brightness, taste and color: you have to get up and fall, experience the bitterness of failure and fall, but against their background joys shine differently and less gray boring days.

The time spent studying public opinion and creating a rating can be spent more wisely, achieve more and, most importantly, really important.

So, the fear of meeting yourself is replaced by the joy of meeting an interesting person. Such an interesting person, of course, can be "brought out into the light" and introduced to other equally interesting people. It's scary, but other people may find themselves quite up to expectations, especially if they've made the decision to "be" too.

Sure, masks, endorsements, ratings, careers, and other consumer demand will fight for the apostate, but life without a mask is exciting.

Give it a shot.